Below is the show promo I created for Mondays’ Beaut Camp Radio Show on NotSoSoccerMomRadio.com      (psst that’s MY show)

My special guest is reality star Tamra Barney  of the Real Housewives of Orange County.   If you don’t watch reality shows and think that all these people are the same, I would encourage you to listen.

Tamra is one of the realest of the real.  Find out why on Monday on NotSoSoccerMomRadio.com network

You go to the site to hear the shows.  They air at 1pmEST and then all day long in Encore.

]]> http://notsosoccermom.com/blog/2012/05/12/do-you-watch-reality-shows/feed/ 0 http://notsosoccermom.com/blog/2012/05/10/you-have-a-kid-dangling-from-your-breast/ http://notsosoccermom.com/blog/2012/05/10/you-have-a-kid-dangling-from-your-breast/#comments Thu, 10 May 2012 19:00:38 +0000 Jill http://notsosoccermom.com/blog/?p=2285 My 3 year old son sleeps in my bed.  In between my husband and me.   I dream about passing out in a Mexican border town & having a kidney cut out of me because he kicks me in the back all night.  He still sleeps with us because we are too lazy to get him in his own room.   Fits + sleepless nights= path of least resistance.

Obviously, the lady who got her nipple pierced with a 3 year old is suffering from the same ailments.

I’m too busy to care about the whole breastfeeding debate that will arise, just as it does every 2-3 years,  out of this Time Magazine cover.

I’m too busy because I write obituaries now.  Did you know that?

After a long fight, the news industry lost a valued member today. Time magazine lost to it’s battle with declining readership & subscriptions.  Some say the ‘reality showing of America’ & make-you-look circus tent-esque tv programming were the final blow to make Time run a cry-for-help shock jock cover of a 3 year old boy nursing his mother’s exposed breast.  There will be a tribute to the dear, departed publication on this week’s Meet The Press, which is guest hosted by Kim Kardashian. Rest in Peace, Journalism.

Jill

En route from the rental car return, the young girl driver asked me what I did.  This one is always tricky— “I”m a mom.” OR “I’m a blogger” OR “I’m a talk show host.”   I said it all in one garbled sentence, assuming she wasn’t listening or caring.  Just when you figure no one listens— someone listens!

She started asking me questions and before long, I’m giving her tips on websites and saying “Email me. I’d love to help.”    She said, “Okay…. but listen… are you sure? cuz I probably will.”

My immediate response: ‘Of course. I was at a wedding yesterday with friends I met who all share/ collaborate/ find ways to connect.   They are great people.’    She sent me off in to the terminal with a big shout of “Girl power.”   I agree. Girl power and GOOD PEOPLE POWER. Indeed.

Today's celebrity Co-Host Alicia Hunter. (click photo for her website)

Listen to the Beaut Camp radio show today to hear more from people I love and who support me and I support—- Alicia Hunter, weight loss coach, author, friend, mentor, lash artist and generally fabulous NotSoSoccerMom- who co-hosts….  She lost 60 lbs a very special way— Listen for her SECRET.

Alicia is often asked to comment on stars' pictures. Hear how she decides what to say--- you might be interested to know what the magazines ask...

AND a special ‘out-takes’ segment with our station’s own Kim Pirrella, Host of The Ordinary & the Extraordinary- my co-host, friend and host for this past weekend.

Kim Pirrella and I 5/6/12 at a very special friends' wedding.

And hear all about my 31st bday (plus 10!)

Jill

Click THIS image to listen at 1pmEST to NotSoSoccerMomRadio.com

He’s with me to kick of the 2nd Annual National Cookie Week (April 30-May4th)

And, Katerina Kneer  Miss Teen USA 2012 & her mom, Rose drop by to share a unique story…..

Join me Monday at 1pmEST by going to the site NotSoSoccerMomRadio.com and simply clicking the button LISTEN!

Kim Pirrella, host of The Ordinary & The Extraordinary, hosts her sister Melissa and their other sister Lysa.

You’ve seen the 3 of them interact on Bravo’s hit show & heard them on my shows before. Now, Kim hosts her own show and her sisters!

Tune in at 1pmEST to NotSoSoccerMomRadio.com .

The show will run all day untill 10EST so everyone can hear.

Click HERE to go to the station site!

Here’s today’s Beaut Camp show preview!!! I’m announcing the winners of our give-away with Bloom.com–the social beauty store and have two FABULOUS Guests—Beauty Industry Guru Susie Galvez & mom blogger/ author Rebekah Hunter Scott !

“Who invented Nutella?”- Jerry to me while re-heating tortilla soup.

“I will know this in 40 seconds.”– Pointing to computer, further justifying my life on the internet.

Discloser: I’ve known about Nutella for about 6 months. Sure, I’d heard of it. But,  I thought it was like Vegimite.  A regionality that sucked but people kept eating it. Like Little Rock does to Velveeta.

I didn’t know it was made of Jesus’s tears and Willy Wonka’s jazz hands.

Plus, it’s a health food!!!!!!!

Then, I researched it.

“Manufactured by the Italian company Ferrero,  Nutella was introduced on the market in 1963. The recipe was developed from an earlier Ferrero spread released in 1944.

History

Pietro Ferrero, who owned a patisserie in Alba, in the Langhe district of Piedmont, (FANCY!!!! Like a Sarah Dunant book!)  an area known for the production of hazelnuts (Oh, dang!  Nuts= protein= protein equals I ROCK) .  This was originally a solid block, but in 1949, Pietro started to sell a creamy version in 1951 as “Supercrema” (Good Marketing Pietro!!! ) .  The first jar of Nutella left the Ferrero factory in Alba on 20 April 1964. (I’m European! I’m healthy! I’m grabbing another tablespoon).  About half of the calories in Nutella come from fat (11 g in a 37 g serving, or 99 kcal out of 200 kcal) and about 40% of the calories come from sugar (20 g, 80 kcal)….. ”

Jill

I can’t remember the metric system.  It’s still healthy, right?

Totally really….   healthy… snack…   with… a great story…  and name…

Like Pringles!!!!

You don’t know of the famed German Count Pringle?     

Also, beauty expert Lady Emmy on the latest in airbrush technology and Jerry Chou of Canfo Natural Products on beauty supplements. Someone will win a 3 day cleanse!!!!

HOW DO YOU LISTEN?   Go to NotSoSoccerMomRadio.com  (click my pretty collage to get there). The show airs all day 4/16/12 EVERY HOUR ON THE HOUR and will be podcasted to iTunes, too.  Subscribe to NotSoSoccerMomRadio on iTunes.  My show is called BEAUT CAMP!

You just roll out of bed, throw on yellow socks and tennis shoes, mismatched playclothes and set off to walk around with your rabid monkey who happens to be wearing cranberry colored Uggs.  First off, FOOTWEAR:   Aren’t you in a tropical climate?  The foliage would lead me to believe so.  Sandals would be the brighter choice.  Aren’t Boots’ feet sweaty?     (Do monkey’s HAVE feet or paws?) Let’s return to that in a minute.

Dora, hun,  you have your own tv show, spin-offs, products and licensing agreements. It’s time to upgrade the posse.  Boots, while smart and plenty friendly,  should now be replaced with the signature gay stylist, uber-organized Personal Assistant & manic best friend.  I’m not sure who that cow is but if you’re getting no Kobe beef from it, I’d say cut ties. And Swiper needs a restraining order.  Sing it — “Do, Do, Do, Do, Do Orden De Restriccion!!!”

Let’s talk assesories: A watch? You have no job, don’t go to school, wander around the countryside all day singing in Spanglish, avoiding a bridge troll & a fox that takes your stuff for sport.  Surely, you don’t need to stay on schedule for all that.  A Map.  Oh sure. I’m supposed to believe some shriveled up scrap paper  produced from an outdated knapsack that makes my own crappy purse look like an Hermes Birkin bag,  is going to save the day.

If you sell that monkey friend of yours to the Bronx Zoo (where, btw, the cranberry Uggs will be more climate-appropriate),  you’ll be able to afford a Garmin and a new agent that can re-package your brand to a hipper media space.

Jill

I’m thinking Housewives….

In the meantime, I’ll knock off his stuff.

If it looks like you are having a yard sale and you are not…. YOU MIGHT BE A NOTSOSOCCERMOM.

*If you have ever driven carpool with no makeup on…(in your robe— with curlers in your hair.), YOU MIGHT BE A NOTSOSOCCERMOM.

* If you find this acceptable playclothes for your toddler ,                                                                                                           YOU MIGHT BE A NOTSOSOCCERMOM.

If you use your time wisely and and are always serious,                                                                                                   YOU MIGHT BE A NOTSOSOCCERMOM.

If  you find this hilarious enough to whip our your phone in the grocery store to take a picture,

YOU MIGHT BE A NOTSOSOCCERMOM.

If you have been working on your birthday list for months (and you are not 10 years old),   

YOU MIGHT BE A NOTSOSOCCERMOM.

Jill

Tune in to the Beaut Camp radio show on NotSoSoccerMomRadio.com network Monday’s at 1pmEST.

The show airs ALL day each hour on the hour. Also, episodes are avail on Itunes now. Search: NotSoSoccerMomRadio –> Beaut Camp Show