Below is the show promo I created for Mondays’ Beaut Camp Radio Show on NotSoSoccerMomRadio.com      (psst that’s MY show)

My special guest is reality star Tamra Barney  of the Real Housewives of Orange County.   If you don’t watch reality shows and think that all these people are the same, I would encourage you to listen.

Tamra is one of the realest of the real.  Find out why on Monday on NotSoSoccerMomRadio.com network

You go to the site to hear the shows.  They air at 1pmEST and then all day long in Encore.

My 3 year old son sleeps in my bed.  In between my husband and me.   I dream about passing out in a Mexican border town & having a kidney cut out of me because he kicks me in the back all night.  He still sleeps with us because we are too lazy to get him in his own room.   Fits + sleepless nights= path of least resistance.

Obviously, the lady who got her nipple pierced with a 3 year old is suffering from the same ailments.

I’m too busy to care about the whole breastfeeding debate that will arise, just as it does every 2-3 years,  out of this Time Magazine cover.

I’m too busy because I write obituaries now.  Did you know that?

After a long fight, the news industry lost a valued member today. Time magazine lost to it’s battle with declining readership & subscriptions.  Some say the ‘reality showing of America’ & make-you-look circus tent-esque tv programming were the final blow to make Time run a cry-for-help shock jock cover of a 3 year old boy nursing his mother’s exposed breast.  There will be a tribute to the dear, departed publication on this week’s Meet The Press, which is guest hosted by Kim Kardashian. Rest in Peace, Journalism.

Jill

Our network is so glad to have Melissa Gorga, star of the Real Housewives of New Jersey on air Friday 4/27/12.

Kim Pirrella, host of The Ordinary & The Extraordinary, hosts her sister Melissa and their other sister Lysa.

You’ve seen the 3 of them interact on Bravo’s hit show & heard them on my shows before. Now, Kim hosts her own show and her sisters!

Tune in at 1pmEST to NotSoSoccerMomRadio.com .

The show will run all day untill 10EST so everyone can hear.

Click HERE to go to the station site!

Here’s today’s Beaut Camp show preview!!! I’m announcing the winners of our give-away with Bloom.com–the social beauty store and have two FABULOUS Guests—Beauty Industry Guru Susie Galvez & mom blogger/ author Rebekah Hunter Scott !

Girl,  WHO are your  parents???

You just roll out of bed, throw on yellow socks and tennis shoes, mismatched playclothes and set off to walk around with your rabid monkey who happens to be wearing cranberry colored Uggs.  First off, FOOTWEAR:   Aren’t you in a tropical climate?  The foliage would lead me to believe so.  Sandals would be the brighter choice.  Aren’t Boots’ feet sweaty?     (Do monkey’s HAVE feet or paws?) Let’s return to that in a minute.

Dora, hun,  you have your own tv show, spin-offs, products and licensing agreements. It’s time to upgrade the posse.  Boots, while smart and plenty friendly,  should now be replaced with the signature gay stylist, uber-organized Personal Assistant & manic best friend.  I’m not sure who that cow is but if you’re getting no Kobe beef from it, I’d say cut ties. And Swiper needs a restraining order.  Sing it — “Do, Do, Do, Do, Do Orden De Restriccion!!!”

Let’s talk assesories: A watch? You have no job, don’t go to school, wander around the countryside all day singing in Spanglish, avoiding a bridge troll & a fox that takes your stuff for sport.  Surely, you don’t need to stay on schedule for all that.  A Map.  Oh sure. I’m supposed to believe some shriveled up scrap paper  produced from an outdated knapsack that makes my own crappy purse look like an Hermes Birkin bag,  is going to save the day.

If you sell that monkey friend of yours to the Bronx Zoo (where, btw, the cranberry Uggs will be more climate-appropriate),  you’ll be able to afford a Garmin and a new agent that can re-package your brand to a hipper media space.

Jill

I’m thinking Housewives….