In honor of Leap Day —here’s what I wrote on Leap Day 2008 ( which is NOT included on this site but IS included in the forthcoming book)

Enjoy Leap Day 4 years ago— in NJ, Pre-Patrick, Pre-Radio Shows, Pre-Facebook, Pre-Twitter, During the 2008 Primary Season

 

It only comes every four years, so to celebrate, I decided to devote this entire day to things I otherwise couldn’t/wouldn’t/shouldn’t do…

 

 10:30am. Arise.  Forget girls have school.  Think how cute they are sitting there on the couch eating frosting in their jammies.  Forget to go to the gym.  Leave bed unmade and towels on the floor. 

 

10:45am:  Eat 3 Dunkin Donuts and an everything bagel with sun-dried tomato cream cheese. Think that I’m hungry for hummus and salmon for lunch.  Order french fries and a Coke at next stop, in case want them later.

 

11:-1pm: Look at gossip mags and old Calvin & Hobbes books while watching Melrose Place reruns on Soapnet. Hope that the girls are having fun playing on Daddy’s computer and with his guitar.

 

1pm:  Naptime.  Curl up in bed with 20 pillows and a ½ lb bag of Peanut M & M’s.  Think that my bed is too messy now so go to Maggie’s so I can smell her little smell.

 

2:30:  Arise. Prank local Hillary Clinton Campaign office. Prank Obama campaign office by, everytime they say “Obama”, shouting “Gezzunteit”.  Die laughing.

 

3:30.  Surf net.  Order from Sephora, HSN, QVC, and PiperLime. Even order that cute copper cooler from Frontgate (seen in Skymall). 

 

3:55  Download all the songs from Pirates of Penzance and Don Quixote for my ringtones.

 4:10: Call up Jerry and wonder why Pfizer didn’t give him off Leap Day. Complain about this, the liberal bias in the media, the lady next store STILL not bringing us Welcome Neighbor Brownies and the fact that people honk too often in the NorthEast.   Check e-mail.  Complain that “no one writes me”.  E-mail them all and tell them it’s Leap Day and they’d better or I’m sending Samantha over to their house with a box of popsicles and a whistle.

 

5:00  Cocktail hour. Order more stuff on internet. Tease hair. Apply MORE makeup.  Wear shoes that hurt my feet.  Ignore dishes in the sink.  Perfect Cher impression by singing, “Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves.”  Kiss the girls till their little faces are bruised.

 

6:00 Yeah! Jerry’s home. Head down to the city for overpriced Sushi at See and Be Seen place. Take my kids to prove to the world that they are cuter than most. Graciously turn down offer for them to be in commercials (too cheesy) but agree to talk to agent about Allie Grace’s audition for Cosette in Les Miz…

 

9:00 Come home. Explain to Jerry the house is a mess because I was simply swamped today feeding my (so very hungry) Inner-Id….

 

 

 

Jill Hickey

I know what you’re thinking.  She might do MOST of that stuff everyday anyway…  

But you’d be WRONG.  It’s not even close to one of my days.  

Melrose Place doesn’t  come on during that time!

 

 

 

From Tim in Omaha via Facebook —-  ”How is surfing the internet on the job effecting productivity?”    That would be very hard to discern since the majority of Americans these days are either unemployed in the first place or reality/aspiring reality stars/bloggers who’s job it IS to Facebook/Tweet/IM/ Skype & blog.  (Dear Project Mom Casting, PICK ME. PICK ME).     Tim, since you are meat salesman, if YOUR boss asks, I would say “It’s Lent, people are just eating fish.”, instead of admitting you were IM-ing on Facebook during work.

 

From Keri in Texas via IM—-”Did you download Words With Friends?” Why, yes, Keri. I did.   I downloaded that app to my phone faster than my kids can open up the fridge and sigh ‘we have NOTHING to eat’.  I’m ready to play. Just a few questions first:  What is it? How do you play? OH, it’s like Scrabble.   Sounds easy enough…. If I knew how to play Scrabble.

 

From Allie Grace in the basement-– “What’s for dinner? We have NOTHING to eat here.”   Go get a piece of fruit.

 

From Mom in Omaha via phone—-”You don’t know how to play Scrabble?” No, I don’t.  Nice parenting, lady.

 

From Co-Host Matt on this morning’s Raise Your Glass Radio show—– “Jill, how is your Lentil project going over on NotSoSoccerMom.com?”  Good if I were making soup.  (he’s so cute!)

 

Jill

 

Lentil is a bean.

Beans for dinner, kids, not meat

Lent, time for blessings

 

I may not know how to play Scrabble, but I’m sure you’ll agree, I can rock a Haiku.

THAT’S IT, Tim! : We can’t keep people from Facebooking, Tweeting & getting online,  but if everyone communicated in Haiku form, think of the TIME we’d save and productivity that would be restored!