When she was four, Allie Grace (who is a newly minted ELEVEN year old now) used to sing it like this:  “Up on the housetop Reindeer Paul….” 

Which got me thinking about lyrics to Christmas carols……

           WHO is this angel Harold and why does he always get quoted?

      There’s one called “I Wonder As I Wander”. Not sure if I’ve ever heard this song, but it sounds like something my husband should sing on his trips from room to room looking for his keys & wallet.

  Do I even have to mention “don we now our gay apparrel” ? Can’t you just hear Mario and Kevin getting ready?   “You are NOT thinking of  the Prada loafers with the Armani scarf??? Sage and mushroom NEVER match. Try the persimmon Tse scarf instead.”

“Here We Come A-Wassailing”:  Wikipedia says:

“refers to ‘wassailing‘, or singing carols door to door.^[1]. An old English wassail song, or song to wish good health, which is what “wassail” means. According to Readers Digest; “bands of beggars and orphans used to dance their way through the snowy streets of England, offering to sing good cheer and to tell good fortune if the householder would give them a drink from his wassail bowl or a penny or a pork pie”    

 So, they went begging door to door for free booze?  Sounds like Irish Halloween.

   “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” 

“There’ll be parties for hosting Marshmallows for toasting And caroling out in the snow There’ll be scary ghost stories And tales of the glories of Christmases long, long ago” 

Ghost stories?? On Christmas? Because braving Macy’s at 4:45pm on the 24th & gaining 10 pounds & visiting with Uncle Clem about his duck call collection are not scary ENOUGH???????

“Rocking Around the Christmas Tree”. Ummm,   Yeah, I’m still waiting for my invitation to this year’s “Christmas Party Hop“.

But, back to “Up on the Housetop”—–

First comes the stocking Of little Nell Oh, dear Santa Fill it well Give her a dolly That laughs and cries One that will open And shut her eyes

Next comes the stocking Of little Will Oh, just see what A glorious fill Here is a hammer And lots of tacks Also a ball
And a whip that cracks 

Nice try, dude. Why don’t you peddle that non-P.C. pap all the way back to the 50’s?  Let me go get  you your slippers and pipe while I’m up…..

Jill

“I still want a hoooooooooooola hooooooooooooooooooooop”