I had to wait for them all to become distracted to make my break. At thishouse, the wait was not long. My big sissie Maggie had a hurt back so Daddy was examining it (because since he’s a pharmaceutical rep, that makes him an honorary Doctor?). 

Seeing my shot, I set out for the journey of a lifetime….

As fast as my little knees and hands could take me, I traversed the dining room.   Had I known this opportunity would present itself, I might have been more prepared.  But there I was; pacifier-less,  bottle-less, snot streaming from my nose and sporting only a saggy diaper, a onesie… AND A DREAM.

The cross from the dining room to the stairs was the first potentially treacherous moment since I had no cover.  Allie Grace and Sammy could pop out of nowhere… I lucked out— Allie Grace was watching TV and Sammy was staring at herself in a mirror holding a faux conversation with her faux friend Tiffany on her faux Blackberry while carrying a real purse, thus her attention (and I use the term loosely) was 4 feet  and higher.

Quick like a cat, I crossed to the stairs and began to climb what might as well be Mount Fuji.  Should I topple backward, all bets would be off. (This is where ‘Helmie’ comes in really handy!)  My chubby legs and hands work in tireless synch.   As I gain altitude, I start to get short of breath.  I consider stopping to clap my hands- my favorite thing, but there’s no time for fun now. The climb gets steeper. The snot careens out of my nose.   I think of giving up the when, like an oasis, I see the mountaintop—- the hallway upstairs!!!!! I feel like a  Von Trapp as they climbed the Alps to escape from Nazi’s. I can do this! I believe in ME!

Fueled by the small win of conquering the stairs, I consider crossing to my own room to get a celebratory pacifier. That sure would be nice right now… I make the hard decision that it’s too risky and time is of the essence.

I pause and listen. They have not even noticed I’m gone yet.  Another small win for Team Patrick.

But all is not safe. I now have to cross Mommy’s room without being trampled by the family cat. Tigger is still mad at me for pulling large tufts of  his fur (HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW HE DOESN”T LIKE THAT? I WAS JUST PLAYING!) and I can’t risk being accosted by him.  Luck is on my side as  Tigger is outside chasing chipmunks and –BONUS— there are not 5 loads of laundry on mommy’s floor like usual. I’m off like a shot.  

As I reach the crest of the bathroom, I know the end is near.  The emotions swell up in me.  I pull open the drawer to find them all there— beautiful, fun, colorful, just how I had pictured them when I first set out on this adventure….

Baby Patrick

Later that night on the phone I heard my daddy talking to momma in Denver, “Yea, so I was looking at Maggie’s back and all of a sudden we could not find Patrick.  That little booger had made it clear upstairs and to our bathroom and was playing with all your gel and hair straightener bottles on the floor!”

Here I am plotting my next caper.