Remember in the movie Oklahoma when Ali Hakim, the traveling salesman, rolls in to town with his cart and runs some jive by Ado Annie and everyone else in Claremore?

I’ve got my own ’Ali Hakim’ and she’s running more scams than Henry Hill in Goodfellas.

Enter Sammy, 8 with one of her 786 purses the other day.  ”I’m playing purse. I have sunglasses, a spare key and an old phone. I have a wallet, too. You know what would make the wallet seem more real?   Can I have this five dollar bill (produces a five dollar bill already sniped from my wallet) to pretend with?”

…which is interesting because not 2 weeks ago,  Sammy sprung for pizza and ice cream for all 4 kids while we were out.  Me: “Where did you get the money?”  Sammy: “I found it on the counter a few weeks ago and since no one was using it, I saved it in my cashbox.”

‘Since no one was using it.‘

—— stops and pictures Sammy as Secretary of the Treasury one day.   “We’ll tax them another 18% before they notice. That’s money no one has used yet.”

She not only excels in monetary acquisitions, she has show strength in positioning and bargaining.  ”Mom, you know how I just had a popsicle….  Well, it was a REALLY little one.”  This almost had me allowing her to go grab a second (and by SECOND I mean third for fourth, cuz don’t think for a minute she hadn’t already thrown back a few contraband before the one she sweetly asked for.)

Then there was the rainy day announcement, “Patrick wants to bake a cake.”     Patrick is 19 months old and can say 6 words and they all sound like ‘puhhh’.

However, she does have a soft spot for charity.    Soon, after the Haiti earthquake, Sammy was sent to clean her room.  Chores like this take a series of days here at Casa Hickey, since the girls tend to wander off mid-task, get on the computer/tv/phone/ Itouch, disappear to the basement to make up a dance, go to swim team, return, avoid taking a shower and brushing their teeth, make up reasons to have a sleep-over, arise and do it all over again.

I have no idea from where this lack of focus stems.

{stares at own cuticles for a half hour, disappears off to the kitchen to do a Zumba routine, grabs a Triscuit and-}

OH, YEAH, I was writing a blog~

So, Sammy is on Day 4 of cleaning up this room.  Soon, she marches out and declares herself done.

Nothing is clean. In fact she’s only carelessly lobbed all the toys,  dirty clothes, un-matched shoes and sparkly purses into 7 different laundry baskets.

Me: “What’s this?   You didn’t do anything!”  Sammy: “It’s my charity;  ’Baskets For Haiti’. I thought you could Fed-Ex these down there.”

Jill

Disclaimer:    The Editors of NotSoSoccerMom, Inc. in no way mean to characterize SnakeOil Salesman, SnakeOil SalesWomen, Traveling SalesMen, Fuller Brush Men, Used Care Salesman, Maffia Members, Ali Hakim, anyone named Ali, or anyone of any ethnic decent for that matter who may or may not have ever sold anything including but not limited to Snake Oil—- in a negative light by likening them with the scams and jive of one Samantha Kate Hickey.  (AKA  ’Slippery Scam-antha’ to her  associates in the Avoiding Chores and Accruing Mommy’s Money Cartel.)