I’m trying not to be all drama because I have a throat infection which led to laryngitis.  It hurts and it’s frustrating.

But, really? Where am I going? It’s not like I’m Lady Gaga and missing a show tonight at the Garden.

We need some laughs.  The best people to make fun of are people who can’t talk back.

Let’s start with the colossal morons that sent us this.

How bout all the law-abiding citizens pictured here?

Then, there was Patrick’s Week in Fashion:

I know. Please don’t be distracted by my good hair. It’s his accessory we’re looking at.  Son, really? A leopard print bag with checks?   Where was your red leather one?

And then, this gem fell in my lap from a friend in Denver.

Jill

On second thought– let’s go big with the drama!!!!  I like Betsy’s  (written when she was 8 or so) style.

Someone fill my lunch with fudge and don’t wake me cuz I’m sick. Don’t even think about feeling my forehead and that pedal better be fixed on my bike soon!

Patrick and I are off to my show at the Garden! (He brought the leopard purse again.)

Jill

…the jeans.  Not one word, people.

1pm Eastern on Toginet.com

“Well, then my sisters ALL left to spend the night out with friends.  Just LEFT ME. ALONE.  With no one to play with.”

“I don’t know what I’m gonna do….”

“Momma thought maybe a bath would chill me out.”

“And, yes, while I do feel cleaner and with suave hair, I miss them.  I will stand vigil till they return. Tie a yellow ribbon around my bassinet.”

“But… since I’m 20 months old, the vigil only last a few minutes. What to do next??  This looks fun!  What are these? Streamers?”

“I’m gonna get ready for Daddy to come home.  He won’t mind if I borrow his shorts. We’re practically the same size.”

“The next day my sissies came home.   Now we’re back to the usual. Bossing me around and playing dress-up with me.  Here I am as Michael Phelps Barbie.”

Baby Patrick

You will not want to miss mommy’s radio show Tuesday. She’s doing a monogram… or was it monotone?… OH! it’s a monologue about some weirdo jeans she bought yesterday.   Tuesday 1pm Eastern on Toginet.com   I will be napping so I won’t be on the show.   Have a nice weekend,  JPH III

I am following those directions today and being still. It is a welcome change since we’ve had a crazy summer.

Being still affords me the time to just think…. Which I guess is why God sent those instructions in the first place. Sometimes we really need to be reminded of the most basic items.  God: “Be still so you might actually think.”  Me: “Kids, brush your teeth.”

Since November, we’ve been praying for (and continue to) Mary Drake, a teen in Little Rock who’s car overturned and has been re-building her strength and life ever since. As I pray for Mary, I often think about her mom, Patti, who I know personally and have looked to as a Mothering Role Model. I think about how Patti’s day to day has changed so drastically.  It helps me to right myself so often when I am tempted to whine.   Big picture.

Two weeks ago, my college best friend’s brother took his own life.   Via Facebook, I was able to follow their family as they gathered, grieved, prayed and try to continue back to their day to day. They are all standing strong and being there for one another. While heartbreaking, it is uplifting.

Today I learned a young girl who was in my CCD class this year lost her dad of a sudden heart attack overnight.

We had a tiny scare earlier this week. My husband spent Monday night in the ER after having an episode of dizzyness, disorientation and blurred vision. He is fine and will be fine so please don’t confuse this as melodramatic (I’ll save that for Tuesday’s radio show!:)  Walking in to an ER to find your loved one will make you pretty much forget the  ”What are we doing? Where are we going? Who’s coming over? Who’s going where with whom? Who didn’t call me back? The economy is doing WHAT? Why didn’t we get to _____  I want a new_______ Where is my_____?” immediately.

The best things in life aren’t things. It’s trite, I know. I even looked up the definition of trite… before writing that sentence.

1. Trite:

Jill

Please continue to visit Mary’s Caringbridge page

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/marydrake/journal?jid=5833153

Please continue prayers for our NSSM partner Mr. Robert

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/robertbarrett/journal?jid=5832517

Please offer prayers of healing for the Smith and Maniello families.

Thank You.

With Mel Gibson finally going off the proverbial edge from which he’s been teetering for years, Lindsay Lohan headed off to jail and Bristol and Levi’s impending nuptials, one would think I’d have a slew of material to report on today.

But these things only leave me with more questions than answers:  Is Jail the new black?  Do the LA jails have a special celebrity back door now, like nightclubs? Robert Shapiro is alive? I thought he died?  How is Gloria Allred not in on any of this yet?  Where is my invitation to Chelsa Clinton’s wedding? Did ya’all get the Evite?   Surely her bridemaid dresses will be navy blue and from the Gap?  Bristol and Levi~ I don’t even know WHERE to begin on this one…?

So I thought I’d just keep it simple and write about what I know.

I know, for a fact, Sammy, age 8, has a future on a used car lot somewhere…

“I really think I’d be more motivated to help clean the kitchen if I got my popsicle FIRST… to cool me off.”    Waltzes around the corner.I look up and notice Allie Grace, age 11, actually doing the dishes.    After removing my jaw from the ground and surviving the Fred Sanford “this is the big one” moment, I say warmly “Thank  you, Allie Grace. I am proud of you.”

Sammy is suddenly back on the scene.  ”What do I have to do to have you say something like that to me? Be really Pacific. By the way, your arm looks muscular today.”

And then there is this. I received it from Sammy the other day after hours of begging and negotiating and finally throwing items which led to a crying fit, an exhausted nap (unfortunately, not by ME) and this extraordinarily sincere correspondence which must have set her back at least 17 seconds….

Jill

I AM a great singer.   Thank you, Sammy, for noticing.

Uh, huh… And Mel and Lindsay TOTALLY have their acts together.