Jill

7 minutes 18 seconds: that’s the longest I’ve ever stood still….

Hmmmm, watching our cat in the backyard generated a reference to the Grammy’s, Prince, Jerry and I meeting, a bad 90’s song,  a shameless showcase of my baby son, The Lion King, Marlon Perkins and a Brady Bunch line.

Please keep hitting up Oprah.com to tell her THIS is the kind of quality programming you want out of your next talkshow host and that when she comes to my house~~~Ed  McMahon-like to invite me on, to KNOCK in case Paddy is sleeping or we are filming another hard-hitting piece of OutDoorsy Journalism.

http://myown.oprah.com/audition/index.html?request=video_details&response_id=2696&promo_id=1

... I'll take any chance to work in a Sound of Music reference...

Jill

…   sigh… I will be glad when this Oprah thing is done so I get back to my life’s other goal:  Production of my

Off-Off-Off Broadway Sound of Music spin-off musical starring Sammy as a Grown-Up Gretl & King Julian as her Nazi-turned-professional-whistler  love interest.

Including the songs: (to the tune of Do Rey Mi:  ”Dough for me, I’m so nau-teeee”), “The Lonely Lemur” &

“The Hills Are Alive With the Sound of Cell Phones.”

Tuesday 1pm Toginet.com   Radio Show!   877-864-4869

Oprah Link:   Hit my girl up and tell her if the NotSoSoccerMom doesn’t win, she doesn’t get to pick our next President.

{I’m joking. Of course. I love you, Oprah. Text me!)

VOTE!

http://myown.oprah.com/audition/index.html?request=video_details&response_id=2696&promo_id=1

(1:23pm Today:  NotSoSoccerMom family kitchen~ Patrick, having just lobbed apple slices at long range across the kitchen, has been escorted away by Oldest Offspring Maggie.  Samantha has slipped off to the driveway to talk to herself about her latest Slide It In the Cart And Hope Mommy Misses It purchase, a Hello Kitty Key Chain.   Your intrepid narrator, moi, has gone to her desk, planning a scathing Letter-Writing & Social Media Campaign regarding the travesty of Target’s outage of Cracked Pepper Triscuits.  A Communist plot for sure…   Allie Grace is hunkered down with a big bowl of Spaghettio’s at the table with Daddy (AKA Captain TimeManagement) who is working from home today. And with these scene, you know I use  the phrase ‘working from home’ loosely.)

Allie Grace: “Daddy, we were watching “Mall Cop” again last night and~”

[My ears perk up to see what Daddy will say about this sure-to-be-interesting opener.]

Allie Grace: “Did you know the Mall of America, like,  makes, like,  3 million dollars a day?”

Daddy: “Is that gross or net?”

[Immediately, I abort the Triscuit Outrage Mission and thank the Blog Gods these two are providing my material for the day.]

Allie Grace: “What’s that mean?”

Daddy: “Say a spoon costs five dollars—–”

Allie Grace: “WHAT SPOON COSTS FIVE DOLLARS?????   Is it like a soup spoon or a wooden spoon or like,  more of a spatula?”

Daddy: “It’s a five dollar spoon, okay?”

Allie Grace: “Where is there a spoon for five dollars?  I’ve heard of the Dollar Store, but not the Five Dollar Store…”

Daddy: “Pretend like something costs five dollars.    Just anything.  Maybe not a spoon.”

Allie Grace: “So, like, it’s a cute pair of gladiator sandals at Justice?”

Daddy: “OKAY. Yes, so say they cost five dollars and then I mark them up to ten dollars. Now—-”

Allie Grace: “There’s nothing at Justice that costs ten dollars?!”

Daddy: “SO I SELL THEM TO YOU FOR TEN, OKAY?  Now, the gross profit is FIVE DOLLARS, but then I have to deduct how much I had to pay to make them, the taxes to the government and other costs. So what I have left is my NET profit.”

Allie Grace: “Can we go to The Mall of America sometime?  What’s for dinner?  Can you take me waterskiing?  Where’s my lacrosse stick? Sammeeeeee-uh,   where did Sammy go? I think she has my—— ”

Jill

Saved by the bell, Daddy jumps on a conference call with Mr. Dan (of Eagles Concert Blog fame.  Remember the lady who “liked his fashion”?” http://notsosoccermom.com/?p=1180 )

Mommy smiles to herself at her desk and wonders how many more days Daddy will work from home this summer….?

Jill

Possible Reasons the Lips Don’t Match The Audio
A) YouTube wouldn’t compress it and I was too ADD to fix it.
B) An homage to badly dubbed old horror flicks…. since I’m kind of a Makeup Monster?
C) All Of The Aboce

Was the band My Chemical Romance on to something with their 2007 song Teenagers?

They said all teenagers scare the living sh*$ out of me

Before you classify the lyric as trite, you should know the album on which this song was featured was nominated for a Grammy for Best Boxed Or Special Limited Edition Package.  I did not have time to research what that means exactly… (as today is the first day of Summer 2010 and my children will soon be singing the “I’m Bored” aria from the opera, “What Are We Doing Today? We Never Get To Do Anything!”. To me, winning a Grammy For Best Boxed or Special Edition Package sounds like saying to a Chef,  ”The veal was fine, but the plates you served it on where SOOOOO pretty!”  However, I’d take a Grammy for anything so I shouldn’t scoff.  (2011 Grammys: “And the award for Best Pretend Name of an Album and Featured Musical Piece In a Blog To Provide Humour and Poke Fun At Her Children Goes To….Jill”  {crowd goes wild} )

But I digress. What’s new?

Working as  a Personal Trainer at the gym, I get to know lots of teens.  Despite the fact that I do love My Chemical Romance’s song, I am actually impressed with the kids.  I had a lovely chat with Katharine from the Lacrosse team about her love of Broadway.  She has seen Spring Awakening six times (!) Inspiring to see a young person with love of culture.

Ellen LISTENED in Science class; (knew the difference between adduction and abduction & supinating and pronating). Jillian makes straight A’s and has her pick of Ivy League schools.  Kylie has gotten the majority of her Lacrosse team in to Zumba.  Juliana works full-time & LOVES working out. Jordan even came to the gym to get her workout in at 8am last week before one of her finals. Even the wrestler boys hold the door for adults.  (And you know how WRESTLERS are~ situated somewhere  on the Human Evolution scale between primordial ooze and Cro-Magnan Man…..((((smile and wave to my cute husband, the former wrestler)))))

Tomorrow’s radio guest is Gabby Londe, who became a YouTube sensation with her simple musings and made “Where’s the Chaptsick?” a household phrase for the 20 and under crowd.  In my communications with her thus far she seems a very nice, comfortable-in-her-own-skin, positive person.  I am looking forward to chatting with her even more now.

Sure, they drive too fast, listen to the music too loudly, text incessantly, scream OMG every two seconds… but a lot of adults that do that, too.

Teens, you might win me over yet.

Jill

Only six MILLION views, countless knock-offs, people are downloading ringtones of this. …

Here’s Gabby, a graduate of Joplin High School in Missouri and her original song.

1pm EST on Toginet.com

The HickeyChicks are my Co-Hosts.