Honor cannot be seen.  Honor cannot be bought.  Honor lives in someone’s heart.

We saw baby Zechariah’s baptism at church this morning.  It was his parent’s honor to welcome him into the Church. It was Father Michael’s honor to preside. It was an honor for us to be there.

Another mother in the lobby was holding her handicapped son. I don’t know her but I’ve seen her around.  I would guess it is her honor to hold him and help him all day. Later, I saw his brother, younger than he, kissing his face while holding him on his lap. I was honored to catch that moment.  It showed love at it’s true source.

The recessional hymn was America, the Beautiful.  The third verse honors our armed forces~

O beautiful for heroes proved
In liberating strife.
Who more than self their country loved
And mercy more than life!
America! America!
May God thy gold refine
Till all success be nobleness
And every gain divine!

I would have been honored to sing along… were I not incredibly choked up, trying to hide the embarassing Mom Tears.

As we leave, a gentleman pulled me aside, “M’am you have some of the most respectful children I have ever seen in church.”   It was my extreme honor to accept this compliment.   This moment meant more to me than any contest, job or worldly object.

Jill

From our National Heroes to Everyday Heroes, we seen honorable acts and people each day. I am honored to have this forum to highlight and comment about them. Thank you for honoring me with your time.

Happy Memorial Day!

God Bless our Troops Past and Present

Three-year old Hallie runs to her daddy, Drew Miller as he arrives home from 7 months in Afghanistan.

5) By sitting in front of your computer voting everyday all day, I am saving you money.  HOW?  That is time you otherwise would have spent over on Zappos, Amazon, or Overstock.com.

Go on.  Hit here to vote a hundred times a day.  You’re Welcome.

http://myown.oprah.com/audition/index.html?request=add_video&entity_id=208189397

4) Voting is an excellent workout for the muscles in your fingers called intrinsic muscles.   Added bonus, you just learned a new word from me (in case you need it for Jeopardy) so again, more reasons to vote.

3) When I get my own show, I will focus on positive concepts & campaigns including but not limited to:

A) Bringing back the shows Wings, Sale of The Century, 3-2-1 Contact,  & a week long mini-series event about the life and times of Alex Trebek

B) Copyrighting my own NotSoSoccerMom Very Big TalkShew Bacon Wrapped Scallop Flavor Cupcake.  Take that, Magnolia!

C) Making sure no one honks, tailgates or has road rage or hits squirrels (even though they are more indecisive than a woman at a shoe sale.)

2) Upon becoming famous, I will not be employing the usual celebrity antics of serial adultery, eating cheeseburgers while wasted on my bathroom floor in the middle of the night, extreme plastic surgery, silly ‘feuds’ or shaving my head upon going looney toons.     (Caveat: Unless I meet Kelly from Real Housewives of New York City and then I will shove cheeseburgers down her throat and shave HER head as my fab celeb feud.)

(drum roll please)

1) My first show is going to be a Favorite Things show and all of the NotSoSoccerMom site readers will be in the audience to receive-

~Magnums of Hummus

~ Cases of Triscuits and Pringles

~ Starbucks for life giftcards

~Limited Time Only Pink Lipgloss & Bronzer from my line of cosmetics called NotSoSoccerMom’s Fluff-N-Stuff

AND

~ Professional grade tambourines, maracas & glockenspiels so you can play along to the NotSoSoccerMom parody of Ke$ha’s Tik Tok, popularized my moi and my back-up singers, The HickeyChicks!

Jill

Fine, If I win, I’ll lose this sad black hat.  That motivation enough?

"Oprah, hey, girl. Can I call you right back? I'm placing an order with QVC."

Jill

http://myown.oprah.com/audition/index.html?request=video_details&response_id=2696&promo_id=1

CLICK THIS LINK< Save to your Favorites & vote every time you hear you think of it!

Please support your own girl, the NotSoSoccerMom in her quest to be the Oprah’s Next Talk Host. I can do this! Free hummus and lipgloss for all if I win.

In the meantime, please enjoy my radio show from Tuesday if you have not. The podcast link is below. I LOVED this show. I hope you will too.

Not So Soccer Mom Live from the Bahamas & Italian Chef Gina Stipo & 05-25-2010

4:04  AM       En Route to Airport—- To distract myself from missing Baby Patrick & his fluffy red hair, I look for fluffy black bears on the roads. None.  I remain the only human in Western New Jersey without a decent bear story.

6:06 AM       Captain TimeManagement gets an eye roll from Ticketing Agent. He’s moving slow.   She does my dirty work for me:   “I don’t have all day for you to take out your computer and search for your frequent flier number.”   My heart sings.   He can run a 18 minute 5K, but it takes him 20 to put a receipt in his wallet… ???

6:10 Still AM        Me to Security CheckPoint Guy:  “Your name is Justo?” (being Latin American, in my brain it sounds like ‘Hooo-Sto’.  Him: “Yea, but look at my last name, Cruel.”  Again my brain reads it the Spanish-sounding way “Croooo-elll.”  His name, if you speak Gringo, is Justo Cruel.   Just. So. Cruel.  Group laugh.  We are in with him.   We whiz past. Jerry complains about being reverse profiled.  “He barely looked at our stuff.  I must look boring.”  I assure him he looks potentially dangerous and tough.

7:04           I break into a run to Starbucks, then get some Duty Free tchotchke (Clinique Powder and  Some Latest Greatest Anti-Aging Fix Everything Moisturizer) Magazine stand:  “Get Life &Style OR  OK, but not both.  They have the same pictures and stories.”   If only our government were as fiscally savvy as Jerry….

7:57        How rude of people to bring cute little boy toddlers on this plane.  Ugh.  Get out computer and brandish pictures of my kids to fellow passengers to prove I’m in the club.

8:04      Would I like to, for just $6, watch live television from DirectTV and commercial-free series’ from Showtime right here from my seat?, asks the screen in front of me.

Lemme watch the FREE (thanks!) preview and see what’s on;

What’s New, Scooby Doo?  ~As a purist, I revolt against this type of programming. It’s like watching The Muppet Babies.  Spin-offs are suckville.

Fairly OddParents~  What is that, a jab? Don’t need to watch that. I am that.

Lifted~ Hmm, what is this about?  It’s an ….inspirational series? There are no tummy tucks or brow lifts to be seen?  Moving on….

How’d You Get So Rich~ Prolly by charging people 6$ to watch reruns.

Jill

In the end I decided to watch the inside of my eyelids. As I doze off, I hear the Flight Attendant preparing the How To Use the SeatBelts Puppet Show yell to her colleague,   “Do we have any extra life jackets? I’m not sure we have enough.”

Then, I couldn’t sleep-  (Hmmm wonder why????)

They hand out the Immigration Cards.   Bahamian odds are going off at 2:1 that it takes Captain TimeManagement over 23 minutes to fill out.

The Answer when NSSMom returns….

…but I was….last night….

Go back ten days in time .

The whole thing started when I had an idea for a parody song to Tik Tok.  I was going to riff the boycotting of Arizona by San Fran and all this screaming about profiling and the hyper-politically correct world we live in now.

Last Thurday: Jerry: “Parody songs are delivered better on screen, rather than in print.”  Okay, we’ll cut a song! The Kids and Me. I know how to video and upload now.  Vlog time!

Monday am: Toginet.com Co-Host Nina: “Oprah is running a Find the Next Talk Show Host Contest. I’m entering.”

My twisted brain: “Heyyyy… ME TOO! and I’ve already got an idea for a parody song. I’ll tweak it and make it about the NotSoSoccerMom vibe.”

We’ll throw on some tshirts, cut the song, edit together some NotSoSoccerMom Vlog outtakes…This will only take a second. “Allie Grace, come here.”

Monday-Thursday: Allie Grace toils tirelessly over the computer. RainMan- like she clicks, snips, edits, inserts, deletes, creates, negates, elates and cuts.  Four days and 27 man hours later,  we have what we think is our TryOut Video.  Allie Grace now has empathy for the 4 year olds sewing Nike’s in a factory in Cambodia.  And NO ONE ever wants to hear Tik Tok by Ke$sha again.

Three minutes of me doing— well— what I do— minus drinking Starbucks or puting on makeup because NOTHING copywritten can be in the audition video.

I fill out Oprah’s Audtion waiver and questionaire. I upload the video.  Whew! It’s sent in. Time to get the social media machine working.  I post it right here to this my site, YouTube, Twitter, FAcebook…. If I could have had Marcel Marceau mime it, I would have.

8:45pm Thursday Nite~ Hey, there’s an message in my Inbox from Oprah’s people.    Audition tape denied. Copyright infringement.  Apparently the ONE second of the Muzak version of Tik Tok was the culprit. Note to Ke$sha: your song sucks if the Muzak version sounds that close to it.

We’ll just re-edit that right out. “Allie Grace, come here.”

…but where is the movie?   Gone. Can’t find in the computer. Project dumped.  Original footage still here.

Starting. All. Over.

Do you know how long it takes to edit a 3 minute lil IMovie?  ME NEITHER CUZ I”M STILL NOT DONE. (what you see above in the first try…)

That’s why Allie Grace and Mommy were in the kitchen sweatshop at 10pm last night and mommy was mainlining macaroni salad.

Oprah, you drove me to eat!  Macaroni salad, too!  I might as well dip a pork rind in lard.

Jill

We’ll hammer out how much you owe me for Spanx I’ll need to hide the salad, Oprah… when I get the show.

I gotta continue cutting this piece of ~~~  well, if it’s not Talk Show Genius, at least it shows a mom loving her four kids and having fun~~~~

In the meantime, please enjoy the NotSoSoccerMom radio podcast if you have not from Tuesday pm.  American Idol Alum Scott MacIntyre was my guest!

Not So Soccer Mom~ American Idol Scott MacIntyre, mom Carole & Neil Allen! var so = new SWFObject(‘/includes/jwplayer.swf’,'mpl’,'210′,’20′,’9′); so.addParam(‘allowscriptaccess’,'always’); so.addParam(‘allowfullscreen’,'true’); so.addParam(‘flashvars’,'&duration=3501&file=podcast_dump/notsosoccermom/NotSoSoccerMomLIVE_2010-05-18.mp3&frontcolor=548dba&backcolor=ffffff&lightcolor=45779e&screencolor=45779e&plugins=yourlytics-1&yourlytics.callback=http://toginet.com/includes/playerstatlogger.php’); so.write(‘flashPlayer2073′);