I like to re-invent myself about once a fortnight.  I also like to use the word ‘fortnight’ cuz it makes me feel like I’m the heroine in a Phillipa Gregory book and my name is Elizabeth or Mary or Isabella and I have a corset and…

I digress.  Anyone surprised?

Once I decided to become a Feng Shui consultant. Lasted 2 days.  Then there was makeup artist, nurse practicioner, ice skater (I was 7 for that one), orthodontist,  Lady with Twin Lovebirds named “Egg” & “Bacon”, translator, Arbonne consultant, Lady With a Teeny Cute Dog In Chic Bag (till I remembered I don’t like dogs) and Personal Trainer (whew— one stuck).

Obviously for one reason or another— probably lack of focus or —–

Hmmmm, WHAT WAS I TALKING ABOUT???

Oh, okay.

For one reason or another the ideas did not pan out.

But, I have now figured out the perfect career path for me!

A job where I can combine all my talents and attributes and …..errr… quirks.  A job where I am a DJ. Where I control the conversation, temperature, destination, volume button,  cell phone, which can be somewhat physical, things happen in short stints AND I get paid for doing it.

Jill

Cabbie. I’m going to become a Cabbie.  And someday, if I’m lucky, Mr. Cabbie Who Drove Me Across Dallas On Friday, will come on vacation in MY town and I can take 10 years off HIS life and show him the I, too, can get paid for NOT paying attention and freezing people out & chatting on my cell in some foreign language while he grips his chest and prepares to meet his maker.

(Foreign language not decided: See— Failed Translator Idea)

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/marydrake

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/robertbarrett

http://www.cafepress.com/notsosoccermom

(ALL proceeds from sales of Team Mary and Team Robert shirts go toward they’re respective healthcare funds)

http://www.karith.com/

Karith Foster was featured on the NotSoSoccerMom radio show 2/10/10

http://www.toginet.com/shows/

Our Radio group, now the HerInsight Network

ttp://www.etiquettesaintlouis.com/

Melenie of Etiquette Saint Louis is a returning guest

http://www.emperorsoldclothes.blogspot.com/

Fashion designer/ blogger Eric Gaskins was featured on 3/10/10

http://www.wakeupontime.com

Cathy Beggan, CEO of Rise-N-Shine Products shared about her line on 2/17/10

http://www.ridgefieldophthamology.com

Dr. Christie Coates answered Botox ?’s on 2/17/10

http://www.DrSterry.com

Dr. Thomas Sterry discussed facial fillers & celeb ‘work’ on 3/10/10

http://www.RippedUSA.com

http://www.brazilianbootyworkout.com

Fernanda Rocha of the O.C. discussed fitness on 3/16/10

http://www.DuffyforCongress.com

Sean Duffy, R Wisconsin on his bid for Congress appeared on 3/23/10

http://www.Lulupowers.com

Entertainment Guru and celebrity caterer Lulu Powers appears on 3/30/10

Gotta love R.G. Such material he provides me.....

Jill

And of course, my forthcoming book— which I WILL finish someday soon! I hope this title isn’t already taken?!

I’m visiting my hometown for the weekend.  En route from the airport we passed the Drive-In movie…which is now an McMansion-y neighborhood. Then we passed the movie theatre where I saw Pretty Woman (for the first time, not the subsequent 305) and where I walked to see Return of the Jedi in the summer of 1983 (the first Girls and Boys Outing I was allowed to attend) ….and the theatre…. is now a parking lot.

Later in the day yesterday, we took Baby Patrick for a walk- past the tennis courts where I used to (lamely) play tennis….which are now plowed under in favor of a plot of grass. I looked over to see the pool I used where I used to swim (lamely) on the team….which is now plowed under in favor of some concrete.  And then we saw snack shack where I used to (quite successfully) down french fries and burgers….which is now a storage shed.

This morning I woke to the sounds of the kids singing Magic Carpet Ride; not the Steppenwolf version, the one from the Wizards Of Waverly Place soundtrack.  If you DON’T know what the Wizards of Waverly place is, I want you to stop what you are doing right now, get down on your hands and knees and thank God, because that would mean you probably also don’t have to run out for Silly Bandz every Friday when they come in at The Toy Man, sing along to Taylor Swift songs or hear how ‘everyone has a Facebook page but meeeeeeeeeeeeeee’.

Then I went to my mom’s hair stylist Peggy to get my ‘Mom, your hair is yellow and black, you look like a Bumblebee!‘ turned to a more believable shade of brownish blonde. Now I’m a chic Bumblebee with lowlights.   While in the chair I hear Let the Music Play….not the Shannon version from the 80’s, the one by Jordin Sparks.

Jill

And then, like he always does, Baby Patrick restored my faith in fellow man, by thoroughly enjoying (when he wasn’t throwing the cow and pig) the Little People old skool farm set… a toy that has not been plowed under or remade since it came out in 1968!

Dems Flip “No” to a “Yes”— D. Kucinich Switches Sides inHealthCare Battle After Obama Appears in his District

Wikipedia changes picture next to definition of ’sell-out’ from Ben Nelson to Kucinich….

White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs Reunited With Long Lost Twin Brother

Being On Reality TV is Unhealthy for Children, Experts Say

In a related story, the Sky is Still Blue

Korean Man Marries Pillow

(Uh,  Was it the 3200 thread-count anti-aging pillowcase like I got at the IBS Beauty Show in NYC?  Cuz my pillow & are pretty serious, too but we have not yet discussed the next step in the relationship)

President Obama Fills Out March Madness Bracket

Is quoted as saying “My Cinderella is a ‘reconciliation’ but I took Pass the Bill to the Sweet 16.  Now that I’ve got my man Kucinich in the starting line-up, we hope to field a strong team.   Doesn’t Nancy look cute in her cheerleading skirt?”

Gimme an "H"! , Gimme an "E", Gimme an "A"......

A Wal*Mart In New Jersey is Under Fire for A Male Voice on the

Loudspeaker that asked for “All black people to please leave.”

‘All black people’ countered by asking for all trash & rednecks to leave, too. An investigation on who made the racial comment has been suspended since the Wal*Mart is still totally empty.

Jill

Happy St. Pat's! I'll be reporting live from Omaha this weekend! Stay Tuned!

I’m serious.  He has opted to skip his nap.  So, I am now barred into the kitchen watching Round 3 of Caveman V Kitty.   When he gets tired and unruly — as most 15 month old boys do after NO nap— he morphs from Patrick the Prince into CroMagnan Paddy.  Like a teeny caveman, he stumbles around grunting, pulling the kitty’s hair, wildly stuffing the cat food into his mouth & throwing things.

Thus, my time to write is limited until CroMagnan Boy either falls over or takes another handful of Tigger’s tufts and I have to break things up…

So I’ll share with you where I am in NotSoSoccerMom Inc spin-off company #3 (or is it 45?)

Introducing  (drum roll please)   (if I knew how to upload a drum roll, I’d really be dangerous but —ooooops– now CroMagnan Paddy is bathing in the kitty’s water bowl — so back to basics.

The Innagural Bumper Sticker from NotSoSoccerMom’s Anti-Tailgating/ Anti-Honking/ I Brake for Triscuits Bumper Sticker biz!

Jill…. & Paddy… & Tigger

My next one—which I didnt’ have time to work on cuz Paddy is now strumming–errrrr- de-stringing Daddy’s guitar,  is going to say

“Tailgaters will be given destructive toddler & furless cat. Both eat same food. “