Movie on 2010-02-25 at 10.00 #2

(click on where it says ‘Movie ‘, dad)

5)  That sushi is good. Then, they eat all of it… and it’s expensive. Kids should eat Mac-n-Cheese, chicken nuggets, fruits & veggies and other nasty things

4)  That there is a Build A Bear, Fun Station or Chuck E. Cheese in their town

3)  How babies are made.  I feel this makes them weirded outwhen Mommy and Daddy’s door is closed. When I am visiting my parents and their door  is shut it’s still just sooooooo…… ewwwwwwww!

(Disclaimer: YES< at some point, I guess they need this information~  like when they are 25 and get out of the seminary and/or convent)

2)  How to work mommy’s cell phone/ camera/ computer. I now have tons of pictures of Sammy’s foot & my cell bill reflects I have a friend in China. Fine,  I’m just jealous cuz Allie Grace knows how to use the IPhoto better than me and created a rather snazzy powerpoint presentation about her undying love for Justin Bieber which had major clip art, fonts and special effects!

and the Number One Thing Children NEVER NEED TO KNOW….

1) That sandwiches, or really ANY food for that matter, can be cut into “fun shapes”. WHO DOES THIS?   See, while you are making a duck out of Timmy’s PB & J, I am ordering from QVC (thus, stimulating the economy) and teaching my kids that Life Isn’t Fair  (thus, teaching my youth to go forth and be tough! Don’t think that a Mickey Mouse waffle is going to fall out the sky unless you work for it!)

Jill

Kids, eats your fruits and veggies!  The NotSoSoccerMom was kidding.  But, dudes, stay away from my sushi.

WELLL!  There goes my cute blog about the Winter Olympics! (Anyone else just NOT feelin it?  I guess I could kinda learn to like the curling since they wear short sleeved tops & cute hair…If I could just figure out why they are dusting the ice for an over-sized Tiddly Wink to slide across it????)

What would have been a VERY entertaining piece on how NotSoSoccerMom would jazz up the Olympics is pre-empted by this news: I THINK SOMEONE IS HACKING MY TWITTER ACCOUNT!

It started when I received a notification from a Twitter friend (a “Follower” of mine and vice versa. You ‘Follow’ people on Twitter and ‘Friend’ them on Facebook. And in real life…. I guess you just talk to them. I don’t remember.)  The notification from Dance4Everr (her Twitter ‘handle’. You use handles on Twitter and maiden names on Facebook. And in real life….you just ignore people in the check-out line) was about you-know-what. Well, do you? YES! SEX.  And this girl is 14! I—- super sleuth that I am—-am thinking someone has hacked her account. So, before I sit down to write my super-funny, always clever NotSoSoccerMom Winter Olympics blog, I hop on Twitter.  ONLY TO FIND MY  current Tweet is something I didn’t write. I’ve been hacked.

Flummoxed, the Olympic musings go out of my head. I’m MAD! What is wrong with the world?  Society sucks!

~~~~and the downward spiral begins~~~~

That lady in the Camaro who tailgated me earlier~ Well, she had fried 80’s hair! And where was SHE going in such a hurry? Big sale on Aqua Net at Sally’s?

My new concealer duo came.  It’s not great. UGH.  Better throw it on the To Return pile… which is now bigger than Patrick.

Jerry: Sure! Don’t answer my texts. I know where you were.  In the city! Trying to get out of doing some makeup shopping for me while you were working?  You and your silly priorities.  Ugh.  Look at the pile. Prolly a good thing.

Ice Storm: It better hit. I’m sick of Big Storm Anticipation with no pay-off.  I have a busy day of Doing Nothing For Once that I’m looking forward to tomorrow (besides my Award-Winning radio show at 1pm. WHAT? It won an award. My dad voted it “Best Online Radio Show By One of His Daughters He’s Ever Listened To Lately On a Tuesday at 1pm”. So there.)

Jill

Ooops! My bad! Hopped on Twitter again and did some poking around. The Tweet in question was a poll about Selena Gomez, thus I think the ‘hacker’ was one Allie Grace, age 11. On Twitter you can post polls.  On Facebook you can post quizzes.  And in real life you can~~~ Well, I don’t have to worry about that, now do I, since I haven’t been hacked and now I can go back to my Tweeting.  See ya!

Perp is the one on the left. I would punish her, but she's the one who showed me how take these self-portraits! And turn them Sepia, no less!

http://www.toginet.com/shows/notsosoccermom

Why, listening to yesterday’s NotSoSoccerMom hour on Toginet.com radio!   I was joined by Cathy Beggan of WakeUpOnTime.com,  Captain TimeManagement , Allie Grace of “I’m Every Woman” fame~~~ and a lady selling wipes!

Jill

Yes, I said wipes! You’ll just have to listen. C’mon, it’s February. It’s not like there’s anything else to do…

~ playing with my new Mac is fun... it's keeps me from folding clothes....

NotSoSoccerMom:  ”Boys, time a for a meeting with momma.”

John Edwards:  ”….just…finishing…. combing… my hair….”

NSSM: “Edwards, you better get yer butt out of the mirror.  John Mayer, PUT DOWN THE BLACKBERRY. Tweeting is not a good idea for you right now. Where is Jon Gosselin?  He is late to this DBags Anonymous meeting.”

Mayer: “He texted me earlier. He’s at cocktails with Slade Smiley.”

NSSM: “First things first. Take notes here, fellas. All of you are major tools for different reasons. Because you simply will not Go Away away— LORD, I long for the days when celebs did something bone-headed and had actual EMBARRASSMENT and went away on their own. That was the golden age of Hollywood. But since the public is stuck with you, that’s where I come in.”

Edwards: “Question: Surely my infraction is less than Mayer’s or Gosselin’s?”

NSSM:  ”Nice of you to join us, Porcupine Hair.  How many times have I told you not to wear those ugly shirts around me? They give me vertigo.  To answer your question, John E., you are situated on the A-Hole continuum just above Hasselhoff ~~~hey where IS he? He’s missing the meeting?~~~, yet below Chavez, right about the same plane as Bonds & ARod.  Okay, say it with me: ‘Step One is admitting that I am a no-good loser who got famous and then it went to my head and I thought I was bulletproof and handsome’. Hold on boys— NO, tell my assistant I cannot take  a call from Eliot Spitzer and he’d better not cancel his private session.  Okay, Step Two~ John Mayer, put down that phone.  Stop. Just STOP Tweeting & texting and saying things. Say NOTHING you need to say.  John Mayer, your phone has been confiscated.”

Mayer: (whiney) “Heyyyyy,  how come Tiger always gets to skip the meetings?”

NSSM: “I told you. He Skypes in for sessions with Olberman and Geithner. Okay now, everybody’s rehab homework for this week is to try and BE A PERSON. Johnny E., this means you have to try to access the feelings of humility and shame.  Johnny Mayer, Shut. Your. Mouth. Just sing.   Jon G, please please spare any real celebrity and offer it up and DON’T be seen with them. We can make this happen, people! You can come back….Think Britney…. Think Cris Brown!…. Think O.J.!

Gosselin: “OJ!?. Hey, he’s in jail.”

NSSM: (under breath)   Every now and the teensiest bit of justice is served.

(loudly) Okay, boys, see ya next week.  Oh and don’t forget; it’s Weekend At Bernie’s.  Session starts promptly at 3pm in Madoff’s cell.