Jill

As a side note, when do toddlers start sitting still and uh, like watching Barney or a movie?     Patrick NEVER has sat still for even a minute.

As we sit here watching School Of Rock (again— at 8:14 this morning, for the 36th time this week) I just saw Patrick actually SIT DOWN and watch something for the first time ever.

It’s probably because he knows that’s how Allie Grace and I will once and for all, gain our fame— from this video!

To confirm the Me As 90year Old Woman theory, I often find myself explaining that my kids are too scheduled and “they need to come home, do chores, play with their brother and sisters and just ‘be’.  Sometimes doing nothing is good.”   Most of the time I get the Two Heads Look.

I know some of you may be the exception, but let’s face it, it is easy to let things spiral out of control and pretty soon, you’re That Guy with a kid in 3 soccer leagues (that’s ONE kid- 3 leagues), another kid going to dance in her cross country clothes and another one eating dinner in his car seat where he’s been for 3 hours while parked at the football field.

It’s easier to do than I thought: become That Guy.  Especially if you have more than 2 kids, which it seems the majority of people do these days.  It’s also easy to do because we hear stats about skyrocketing obesity levels in America and we want to do something to head that off.   It’s easy to do if you want your children musically inclined which we know compliments intelligence growth.  It’s easy to do if you want to incorporate the arts.  It’s easy to do if want your children civically and religiously involved.    You see where I’m going with this:  Timmy, Johnny and Katie now each take a sport, play an instrument, do Boy and/or Girl Scouts, go to Sunday school…. and FreeTime is from 4pm-4:45 on Wednesdays.

As usual I have more questions than answers.  We are told sitting down to family dinner together is key. We are told attending church together is key.  I think being home and learning to not always be entertained by others (play with your own brothers and sisters) and doing chores that contribute to the family spaces, (not just your room) is key.

But, if a child shows interest in sports/dance/ an art/ an instrument and that requires going 5 times a week and they soar at it, that is amazing, too.

But, how to do all of the above with only so many hours in the day and everyone’s more busy and over-scheduled every year?

Jill

Jill

Clearly, I’ve conquered IMovie.

Clearly, I rock.

No Mac program can own me and I can do (enough to get by) Guy Push-Ups.

Clearly, there’s nothing left for me.

Except… to pre-pay for my son’s therapy.

Each older girl came home with an envelope containing their bus pass.

Now is when I would insert a long boring story about budget cuts, busing routes, building changes and the like.

But let me right get to the Horrific Slasher Movie Friday the 13th Chainsaw Massacre Steven King-esque point:

The five stages of grief:

Denial: “This can’t be happening to me.”

School is totally a LONG ways off.  September 8th is like— forever away.

Anger: “Why is this happening? Who is to blame?

Who do I call on the school board to explain that they MUST fix this ridiculous time? 6:45 am? That’s the middle of the NIGHT!  I’ll miss my Will & Grace reruns at 11pm.  What bout Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives at 10?  I’ll be sooo poooped.   What am I, a farmer?  A baker?  Who do I call?  This is the biggest crock of…. We started at 9:20 last year and they change it to THIS!?

Bargaining: “Make this not happen, and in return I will ____.”

I’ll work a cross-walk…. In the rain….. I’ll be a Room Mother. I’ll cut out teeny weeny hearts and rainbows from construction paper. I’ll work in the lunchroom….I’ll wear a hair-net.

Depression: “I’m too sad to do anything.”

My life is over. I’m going to be tired and puffy with black rings under my eyes all day.  Let’s eat dinner at 4pm & go to bed at 7:30. Hi, I’m a Senior Citizen now. Have you seen my AARP magazine?

Acceptance: “I’m at peace with what happened.”

Homeschooling.

Jill

More on this debacle later. I’m enjoying the last few days of Summer.   School is totally a LONG WAYS away, though.

Jill

]]> http://notsosoccermom.com/?feed=rss2&p=1346 1 http://notsosoccermom.com/?p=1343 http://notsosoccermom.com/?p=1343#comments Tue, 24 Aug 2010 02:01:55 +0000 Jill http://notsosoccermom.com/?p=1343

Is this a famous line- or did my mother just convince me that her own line was famous while watching Dad make his ‘famous spaghetti’?

Much like my recent blog the front yard tent excursion, some things never change.  It’s just the speed of the internet makes it easier for us to share these experiences… and make fun of the appropriate people.

Enter Jerry.  Who on Saturday decided he would make Monica’s delicious cuban style pork shoulder she served us recently.

Saturday morning he heads out to get the ingredients with the intent on making it for Saturday night; meat, some seasonings, an onion & white wine vinegar. Everything else we had.  How this took 4.5 hours:  One hour to meander through Stop-n-Shop and find out they didn’t have the cut of meat (4 cell calls to Monica).  Half hour to get lost on way to meat market two towns over.  Half hour in meat market. Another half an hour to go to HomeGoods to purchase a Dutch Oven (“Monica said you need a Dutch Oven.”  Clearly he’s talked to her 3 more times by now.)  The remainder of time, I am sure, BECAUSE I THANK GOD that I was not with him, spent wandering around HomeGoods muttering to himself, “Dutch oven…  Look- COOL!  A lemon zester. Do we have a lemon zester?  Hmmm, where would the Dutch Ovens be- This picture of a boat would look cool in my office… HomeGoods has lots of stuff.  I could use a new hand towel caddy…”

4pm He returns with One Onion, 7lbs of meat, 4 seasonings and his Dutch Oven. “Man, HomeGoods rocks!”    I bite my tongue.  He had a similar ephiphany a few weeks ago when a flight was cancelled and he had to stay over without a bag in Buffalo.  ”TJ Maxx is great.”    I vow to get him out more.

He’s not done the math to realize that it’s 4pm and the meat needs to cook for about 5 hours.  But he has bigger problems.  His new Dutch Oven is unwrapped (!) and it ……. will house exactly one Cornish Game Hen with pearl onions. One pearl onion.  And it will be tight.

The look on his face.   He’s mad at HomeGoods. He’s mad at Monica. He’s made at pork in general.   He’s especially mad at Dutch people and their dinky ovens.

We decide to marinate the meat overnight, keep the Polly Pocket Dutch Oven and have the pork Sunday.

Sunday comes and I am gone all day.  After church, he continues on this quest for Cuban Style Pork. He travels, with four kids in tow, to Macy’s to purchase his new Man-Sized Dutch Oven.  He secures the Oven and gets his shoulder cooking.

I text him from my outing, “This pork dish has taken over your life.”  His serious reply: “Yes, it has.”

Jill

Based on the formula:  2 days of shopping, 2 new pieces of kitchenware needed, 12 hours prep, 3 hours stressing, 56 dirtied dishes– and four minutes to actually EAT ,  Jerry will be cooking Thanksgiving Dinner from now on.

"Monica said....."

This Blog is dedicated to the Rocky Mountain Chapter President of the NotSoSoccerMom Fan Club, Daniel Starzy.

Jill

Speaking of Jersey…  Tuesday’s NotSoSoccerMom show includes a lively chat between Yours Truly and George Resch of HappyIsTheNewRich.com about moving. Have you moved a lot?  Do you have a favorite region of the country?  Bagels or beignets?   Lake, beach or river?  Call in and share your experiences at 1pm Eastern on Toginet.com  on Tuesday.   877-864-4869

OH.

“Is McDonald’s the new Starbucks?” , I just queried my Facebook friends.    I like the morning drinks from each about the same.  And they share equal nutritional value (nil).  So that’s a tie.  Hmmm, but no welcoming couches, warm colors, carpets and coffee house tunes at the golden arches. One for Starbucks.  Then, there’s the clientele–

“Make sure to butter the toast!  And jelly. Buttah and jelly on the toast.  and just black coffee...”   Do people screech like spotted hyaneas at the drive-through order box at Starbucks?   I sit and wait.  She continues scaring off birds that are flying too low.

I ponder how I would research the general demographics and socioeconomic status and create a scientific compare/ contrast treatise of the Average McDonald’s Customer vs. the Average Starbucks Customer… and how long it would take me… since I’m going to at Zumba at 10:30.

She’s still there.

I wonder how many people she’s ordering for when the drive through box announces to her:  ”That will be $4.06.”    FOUR OH SIX?   How could she spend all that time ordering something that costs only Four DOLLARS AND SIX CENTS?

Jill

“I’ll have a Grande 1 pump caramel, 1 pump white mocha, 2 scoops vanilla bean powder, extra ice frappuchino with 2 shots poured over the top (apagotto style) with caramel drizzle under and on top of the whipped cream, double cupped.”

Post Script:

Allie Grace wanted McDonald’s breakfast chicken sandwich —with pickles.

Drive-Through Lady informs me, somewhat perplexed herself, “We don’t have pickles… yet.”

They must keep the pickles under lock and key till 10:30am.

Tomorrow, if time permits, I might embed myself at McDonald’s to see this big Lunch and Dinner Pickle Unveiling.

They have Wi-Fi right?  That could be the tie-break.

]]> http://notsosoccermom.com/?feed=rss2&p=1331 2 http://notsosoccermom.com/?p=1325 http://notsosoccermom.com/?p=1325#comments Tue, 17 Aug 2010 19:54:10 +0000 Jill http://notsosoccermom.com/?p=1325 Remember when you were a kid and you’d set up Dad’s tent in the backyard and decide to camp out?  ”We’re camping tonight, Mom!”.  And how tired and bitten up you’d be the next morning from sleeping on that bumpy ground with only your Cracker Jack sleeping bag and a thin layer of nylon separating you from the harsh elements?

No, you do not.  Because you came in at 11pm, made a big complain-y ruckus, raided the fridge, turned on the tv and watched  your late-night shows in the air-conditioning…. like every one else.

… Except me.  I didn’t even make it to setting up the Cracker Jack sleeping bag. Skipped straight to the fridge and shows part.

Today’s THAT DAY at my house.

“Mom, we are camping out!”

The impending Camp Out has already been preceeded with a picnic and a run on the trail by the two older girls and Friend Jane.   (Not sure where the run fits in to this Outdoorsy Themed Day.  Perhaps just a gratuitous excuse to jaunt through town in jog bras?)

The younger girls’ picnic included the age-old 80/20 ratio.   80% of the time actually Planning, Organizing, Talking About and Looking Forward to the Event.  20% of the time Enjoying and Savoring Event.  (Cross Tags: Thanksgiving Dinner and ProCreating).

Took an hour to secure 2 Pudding Packs, 2 sandwiches and load a blanket in an old basket and exactly 70 seconds to set up, eat them and ignore the mess.

But I have more burning questions than who’s picking up the pudding pack wrappers:

HOW CAN PEOPLE WHO HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO LOAD A DISHWASHER OR CHANGE THE TOILET PAPER ROLL SET UP A TENT?

In, like, 5 minutes flat?

And WHY DID I GET A CRACKER JACK SLEEPING BAG? WHEN I CLEARLY ASKED FOR BARBIE?

Jill

I’ll let you know how Team Tent does.  In the meantime, it does make a swell Toddler Trap.