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Programming Note: I don't wanna act like the Media Celebrity has gone to my head, but I DID get recognized by 3 people in the Chicago Airport en route to 'the M states' for The Baby Jesus' & and Baby New Year's (he has less effective publicists, don't you think?) Birthdays...Fine, 2 of them were my kids that I tried...

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Grump & Snore+ More (My take on Jon & Kate) When I'm not reading the complete works of Tolstoy or teaching my kids Latin I might be found watching a few reality shows.  Just a --cough- few.... COUGH COUGH....Scuze me,  I must have choked on a piece of organic fruit leather. I got sucked into Jon & Kate Plus 8 by my girls, mostly cuz...

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More Makeup Trends I'm Following For You Because I'm... Trend #1)  "High Def":  Lots of new face makeup products (when they are not utilizing the term "mineral") are rocking the 'High Definition' marketing. What makes it High Def? Sephora's website describes it:   "Originally designed for use in film and television, high-definition makeup provides...

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The Palin Effect Kate Gosselin- love or hate her- has a certain something which makes you look.  Even my mom knows who "Kate" is...& Mom's idea of  'following reality shows' is the one time she watched 2 minutes of Top Chef with me- because I hid her remote control. Sarah Palin certainly has that same Make...

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Baby Patrick's Big Adventure-- as told by Baby Patrick;... I had to wait for them all to become distracted to make my break. At thishouse, the wait was not long. My big sissie Maggie had a hurt back so Daddy was examining it (because since he's a pharmaceutical rep, that makes him an honorary Doctor?).  Seeing my shot, I set out for the journey of a lifetime.... As...

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Recent posts

Jul 29th:

To Drama or Not To Drama~ THAT is the Question?

Posted by Jill at 2:58 pm on July 29, 2010
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I’m trying not to be all drama because I have a throat infection which led to laryngitis.  It hurts and it’s frustrating. But, really? Where am I going? It’s not like I’m Lady Gaga and missing a show tonight at the Garden. We need some laughs.  The best people to make fun of are people who can’t talk back. Let’s start with the colossal morons that sent us this. How...

Jul 26th:

Radio Show is Back Live Tuesday!

Posted by Jill at 12:07 pm on July 26, 2010
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Jill …the jeans.  Not one word, people. 1pm Eastern on Toginet.com

Jul 24th:

Get Your Tissues, For This Is A Sad PhotoPictorial- From Baby Patrick

Posted by Jill at 12:59 pm on July 24, 2010
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“You know how you wake up from an afternoon nap and you’re all groggy and grumpy?” “Well, then my sisters ALL left to spend the night out with friends.  Just LEFT ME. ALONE.  With no one to play with.” “I don’t know what I’m gonna do….” “Momma thought maybe a bath would chill me out.” “And,...

Jul 22nd:

“Be Still and Know That I am God”

Posted by Jill at 1:08 pm on July 22, 2010
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I am following those directions today and being still. It is a welcome change since we’ve had a crazy summer. Being still affords me the time to just think…. Which I guess is why God sent those instructions in the first place. Sometimes we really need to be reminded of the most basic items.  God: “Be still so you might actually think.”  Me: “Kids, brush your teeth.” Since...

Jul 19th:

More From the Sammy Files

Posted by Jill at 12:10 pm on July 19, 2010
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With Mel Gibson finally going off the proverbial edge from which he’s been teetering for years, Lindsay Lohan headed off to jail and Bristol and Levi’s impending nuptials, one would think I’d have a slew of material to report on today. But these things only leave me with more questions than answers:  Is Jail the new black?  Do the LA jails have a special celebrity back door now,...

Jul 17th:

A Lost Eyebrow, A Bruise, A Pageant… and Oh Yeah, A Radio Show Tuesday

Posted by Jill at 12:10 pm on July 17, 2010
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Jill …I’d write something clever here but I’m barfing at my own smell. Off to the showers.    Aren’t we all glad I’m on the RADIO with hair like that?

Jul 16th:

Breaking News off the AP Wire…

Posted by Jill at 2:00 pm on July 16, 2010
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-AP This morning NotSoSoccerMom~Jill, self-elected  Mayor of Facebooktown, introduced legislation to enforce the ban on children under 13 being on Facebook. This law has been in place ever since Facebook’s inception in 2004; however it is widely ignored.   The law requires internet authorities to determine the status of people if there is “reasonable suspicion” they may be under 13. Mayor...

Jul 12th:

… I Told You To Stay Tuned. More From Myrtle Beach. (It’s in South Carolina)

Posted by Jill at 10:10 am on July 12, 2010
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Watch this to see why my sister has fits when we visit her house!  Ha… and why tomorrow’s NotSoSoccerMom radio show at 1pm EST on Toginet.com is going to be different, fun and fabulous! Jill PS:  You know you are South of the Mason Dixon Line when they serve yellow mustard instead of dijon,  Coke rather than Pepsi and can find 19 different kinds of Pork Cracklins in the gas station…and...

Jul 11th:

Intrepid Reporter On Adventure

Posted by Jill at 8:37 am on July 11, 2010
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Safe to say I didn’t win Oprah’s contest…. BUT~~~~    Thank you so much for the actual votes!!!  The NotSoSoccerMom finished in the top 13% and received great feedback. Moreover, a heartfelt thanks to you, my readers and friends, for the Votes of Confidence!   I made some cool friends with some of the other Oprah’s Next TalkShow Host entrants, too. The fabulous Kyle...

Jul 7th:

SnakeOil SalesWoman

Posted by Jill at 2:10 pm on July 07, 2010
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Remember in the movie Oklahoma when Ali Hakim, the traveling salesman, rolls in to town with his cart and runs some jive by Ado Annie and everyone else in Claremore? I’ve got my own ’Ali Hakim’ and she’s running more scams than Henry Hill in Goodfellas. Enter Sammy, 8 with one of her 786 purses the other day.  ”I’m playing purse. I have sunglasses, a spare key...

Jul 5th:

A Concealer That Matters! Oh and a Radio Show. BYOL (Bring Your Own Legos)

Posted by Jill at 4:18 pm on July 05, 2010
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Jill This looks just like my fave stuff animal. Do you remember Le Mutt?   Mine was named “Pookie”,  an homage to Garfield’s Teddy Bear. 

Jul 1st:

Please Enjoy This Video While Your Party is Being Reached

Posted by Jill at 7:41 am on July 01, 2010
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Jill In lieu of cleaning for the arrival of my father-in-law today, I chose to make this lil ‘Best-Of’ out-take video using footage from our Vlog and Oprah tryout archives. If he asks, I’ll explain that toilet paper and clean towels are over-rated when you can watch your grandkids sing parody songs and be interviewed at the kitchen table… It’s not too late to make...

Jun 29th:

We Need to Get Better Animals In Our BackYard. Where Is My Bearbait?

Posted by Jill at 3:53 pm on June 29, 2010
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Jill 7 minutes 18 seconds: that’s the longest I’ve ever stood still…. Hmmmm, watching our cat in the backyard generated a reference to the Grammy’s, Prince, Jerry and I meeting, a bad 90’s song,  a shameless showcase of my baby son, The Lion King, Marlon Perkins and a Brady Bunch line. Please keep hitting up Oprah.com to tell her THIS is the kind of quality programming...

Jun 28th:

Lady Gaga Drops by NotSoSoccerMom Corporate HQ!!!!

Posted by Jill at 1:03 pm on June 28, 2010
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... I'll take any chance to work in a Sound of Music reference... Jill …   sigh… I will be glad when this Oprah thing is done so I get back to my life’s other goal:  Production of my Off-Off-Off Broadway Sound of Music spin-off musical starring Sammy as a Grown-Up Gretl & King Julian as her Nazi-turned-professional-whistler  love interest. Including the songs: (to the...

Jun 25th:

Economics Lesson…

Posted by Jill at 11:55 am on June 25, 2010
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(1:23pm Today:  NotSoSoccerMom family kitchen~ Patrick, having just lobbed apple slices at long range across the kitchen, has been escorted away by Oldest Offspring Maggie.  Samantha has slipped off to the driveway to talk to herself about her latest Slide It In the Cart And Hope Mommy Misses It purchase, a Hello Kitty Key Chain.   Your intrepid narrator, moi, has gone to her desk, planning a scathing...

Jun 23rd:

Cracked-Out Spaz in Action.

Posted by Jill at 2:07 pm on June 23, 2010
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Jill Possible Reasons the Lips Don’t Match The Audio A) YouTube wouldn’t compress it and I was too ADD to fix it. B) An homage to badly dubbed old horror flicks…. since I’m kind of a Makeup Monster? C) All Of The Aboce

Jun 21st:

Teenagers

Posted by Jill at 12:10 pm on June 21, 2010
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Was the band My Chemical Romance on to something with their 2007 song Teenagers? They said all teenagers scare the living sh*$ out of me Before you classify the lyric as trite, you should know the album on which this song was featured was nominated for a Grammy for Best Boxed Or Special Limited Edition Package.  I did not have time to research what that means exactly… (as today is the first...

Jun 19th:

Where’s The Chapstick?

Posted by Jill at 12:56 pm on June 19, 2010
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Jun 18th:

Last Chance to Sign Up for Camp Jill!!!

Posted by Jill at 1:08 pm on June 18, 2010
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TV Commercial Cuts Into your World Cup Action (or non-action). THIS woman is on your screen: “Parents, It’s SummerTime again! What will you do with the kids?  Don’t want them sitting around the house gorging on  Spaghetti-Os & Kardashian episodes?  Even the federal goverment can’t give away money as fast as parents with Tweens…. It’s time to enroll them at...

Jun 16th:

All I Needed To Know, I Learned From the Real Housewives. Part II

Posted by Jill at 10:38 am on June 16, 2010
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(Hard hitting piece of journalism, Part Deux.  Sorry aboutcha, Maureen Dowd.) When we last left our stealth NotSoSoccerMom, she was astutely boiling down the reality phenomenon The Real Housewives of (fill in the blank) in to an intuitive look of the American psyche, via this popular show…. And then she went to sleep. You see, that (rather well-crafted, I must say) sentence was written last...